cant too close...

25/6 3.35
I just end club..actualy tonight i didnt feel wan club..
But i hear someone say maybe go mist club..i only go club..
I saw he hug his fren suddenly feeling unhappy and wanna cry..
Oh shit.....!!!why got this kind feeling...???i cant have this feeling..
Maybe i too close with he edi..i don wan this feel..
Because if too close with he and plus i just is his frn only..!!
Haizzzzz.....we like 'ai mei'...

stupid me

Why i so stupid..
Always care of ppl...
Tht ppl know care. .
Feeling just plying me...
Bored that time only find me. .
Im not doll ah...
Sometime say fu hin word to me...
Maybe all thing. ..
I think too much...
Just fren only..
Who will care me...
Sometime i will feeling jealous..
But i didnt have entitle to say...
Just forgot it...
Anything be natura. ..

not understand.

I not understand...
Why treat someone good that person wont appreciate..
Is my problem or wht...????
I really duno why...
All ppl also like that...
Sometime feeling tried...
But. ...
I think is my problem...TT

what happend today...weird day?

my dad know edi her thorw away,
got ask her who bring,borrow money..
her didnt say me..just say borrow at fren.and go alone..
i duno my dad what kind act when her told my dad..
angry,unhappy,sad.......duno...suan ...
don wan think about that edi.

today everning go sunway with des,
he keep say our thing..
say me don wan him edi..
i feel our is wont together back edi..
because i don wan when argue with he
phone he 50 more time also don wan answer..
i feel afraid about that edi..
i don wan have that kind thing happen edi..

just now yc at momo cafe,
meet dou kel..omg..
i didnt feel wan meet ,
he join our table,
that time straight go washroom call someone ,
wanna ask he how de,but he didnt pick up phone.
then back table ,i feel uncomfortable at kel,
i not dare looking at him and
didnt talk to him.
i duno how face at him..
need smile, silent or act nth....
i will always think about he..
is it treat him so bad,
why wan break ???
i not understand o..
i treat as good as well..
i know him less find gf person..
then ok ,i go his house acc him..
hope wont bored or anything,
he told me, like drink ABC soup
next day ask my aunt how cook,
after that learn how cook and go his house cook give him..
told he unhappy and stress at work..
then after work straight go find him
and buy his like dessert mcdonald ice cream,
everytime find him,i also buy ice cream give him.
why i treat he as good ..
why still wan break..
and i really dunno what reason because why break..
he never told me reason..

jealous some one,
i think, i don wan treat he gam hou ah,
i scared will have feel with he,
because just now asking he didnt out later?,
answer me back 'got ah,watch movie with fren'
suddely have abit dislike feel,
it is because every day text with he..???or
anything also tell him..???
make me got weird feeling..
why have this kind feeling ..??

what kind day,
today why got alot thing happened and feel too
OMG...

Nervous and afraid

Today everning i fetch someone go clinic,
i feel myself so bad..is it good to her..or bad.???
i also duno ..waiting her few hour and
i nervous and afraid about that..
scared after that will got what happen..
cant guess will have what kind happen..
because never try before ..
nervous and afraid till wanna cry..
now i not dare back home ..
i duno how face her..feel like i become bad person..
if i didnt bring her go clinic late will got happen..
more fan , happy ,happiness or what...duno..
when i back take my clother ..scared he come out scold me and hit...
in this few day also wont back home..
IN AFTERNOON & NIGHT
back my aunt house ,let my aunt know all thing in everning
her laugh at me..=.=
i duno why laugh lo..
really scared de ma...like that also wan laugh me o...
then say me stay at here few day only back
hiding myself few day..
AND
about that i duno find who discuss
just can find my aunt to discuss
tell my dar also no use..cant help solve it..
make me think alot thing..
i think anything will ok soon...^^
MOVIE TIME
just now go movie with someone..
we was late ..start didnt watch duno say about what de le..
but is ok la...not bad movie...
i got abit feel nervous when........
maybe suddenly like that...

happened in this 4month

in feb

des birthday ,
I was make birthday cake to him,
in last night we was argue,i dunno why we always argue about small thing,
forget about that,
now only know he dislike eat cake,why I waste my time made cake give he,
he just eat abit only,and didnt finish it,
I feel waste my time and money learn made cheese cake,
but at least he still got eat ah...hehe..

chinese new years,
just normal in few day,
but till my dad birthday we was argue again,
on that time I feeling slowly away with he,
because afraid he don pick up my call,
he always don wan answer my call,
he make me afraid him,
because i don wan always argue with des that time phone him,
he wont pick up or msg too...i cant tahan edi..
in 1week that time I never answer call or reply msg,
Im think is it time we break,our relationship not say longer just 1year half

one day meet a guy name kelvin,but all his fren call nick name kel,
I know he in club him is tin fren,i fisrt time go phutu club then know he
and after 1 week randy say he thing let me know,
I and tin always go out yc with them,i duno when fall like wit kel o,
but I still not yet break wit des,
des have msg me ,i didnt reply and call me ,i also didnt answer,
kel know I have bf,and know all I with des,
kel act like nth ah..
kel chase me that time he is good,i feel he so care me...
but......

march
in few week I wth des lan zen kan,
that few week I didnt find des,
maybe he know what happen between us,
he got few time msg me,but i didnt reply he,
when he msg me i will sad and duno how,
I duno why have this feel,
when i unhappy kel at my side together wit me,
till we really together..5 march
when just start together, few week no one know we together.

I duno why treat kel very good,
is it because I knw treat me good??
I also duno why..
both us got something happend ........
I together with him just 2month only..
how I treat he also no use...because he got pressure on me
he got anything also didnt anything keep in heart only,
I break up with also duno what reason,
he never told me reason ...
I got msg and call he also don wan reply..
now I duno wan wait he anot.???
should I give up..???or wait...???

june
first june he got msg me
“i hv make my decision.sorry this is end for us,take care ..hope v can b fren..sorry"
when I saw this msg my mood total down edi,
hungry also no appetite eat,
my heart feel broken...haiz...
maybe this all is punish me.... and
thank for someone cheer me...

Today 10 FEBRUARY

today feel moody de,
maybe yesterday happend ,
feeling like wan give up he anot..?
i duno with he will be how late..
in my heart a lot thing cant say....
down down de...
today is he birthday ah....
feeling unhappy o...